Sitting on my Toilet

I’ve been thinking a lot about wilderness.  The 40 years spent in the wilderness for the Israelite.  The 40 days spent in the wilderness by Jesus.  And many other references to wilderness.

My questions around wilderness are around:

• What was the purpose of wilderness?
• What was the wilderness felt like? Psychologically, spiritually etc.
• What is the right attitude to have if one finds itself in one?

Long while of contemplation and meditating, here are few summary points:

• It’s often easy to think that wilderness is result of a  mistake or as punishment. Reality is that it’s not.  Jesus went to it.
• Wilderness prepares us for the promise land, to test our faith, to grow our faith such that we won’t succumb to the abundance in the promise land
• To remind us and ground us in the truth that we need to depend on God, and Him alone.  Mana came only for what’s needed that day.  I bet it was hard to make plans for tomorrow since, the people didn’t know what was going to happen.

Thinking about what must those Israelite felt during that 40 years; they couldn’t save up food as they would be spoiled.  There was no way to put confidence and faith in the ‘savings’.  They were in full dependence upon God.  If God didn’t come through, they are screwed.

What’s our modern day wilderness like? Seems often we tend to do everything possible to avoid such wilderness.

Time to time, I feel like I am living day to day.  Very frustrating.  Just got enough to go one more day.  Do I have plans in my heart? Yes.  But I am at the end of myself not knowing how any of it will unravel.  I wonder if that’s what the Isrealite felt about their plans, and how would any of that happen.

I’ve also thought that if such ‘promise land’ with flowing milk and honey was to come tomorrow, am I ready? Or will the blessings become a curse and take the place of God.  ‘Who is the Lord? Would I say?’; I have savings and insurances, stocks, RRSPs/401ks etc.  Is it better to be in the wilderness while be with God, or be in the promise land without God?

Wilderness keeps me grounded that each day, He has to come through or I am screwed.  And He does! But beyond today, I can’t see any steps beyond today.  I see the vision, but the steps aren’t there yet.

When will the promise land arrive? I don’t know.  Often misquoted verse in the bible is the Jere 29:11.  This isn’t a verse about life will be easy, get rich or all peachy in this life time.  Perhaps in a grand scheme of things, there is wilderness and then the promise land (heaven).  And yet, within that grand scheme seasons, there is embedded smaller seasons, that changes between wilderness, rest, promise land and over and over again.

I am reminded yet again that what we produce with our hands in this life time is less of focus, than what the changes are being produced in our heart and character.